HOME OF THE ORIGINAL CAN O'WHOOP ASS™

Pick Your Party! Choose Your 2008 Election Can O'Date™! OFFICIAL CAN O'WHOOP ASS POLL RESULTS (Each Can O' Whoop Ass sold represents 1 straw vote - Updated nightly)
CLICK CAN FOR MORE DETAILS	671 CAN O' WHOOP ASS FOR REPUBLICANS	488 CAN O' WHOOP ASS FOR DEMOCRATS	CLICK CAN FOR MORE DETAILS

Get your PRESIDENTIAL CAN O'DATE™ WHOOP ASS soon as they're announced!

EVERY CAN HAS A HUMOROUS, HIGH GLOSS, FULL COLOR, WRAPAROUND LABEL.

Pick your favorite Can O'Whoop Ass™ style.

THERE'S A CAN O'WHOOP ASS™ FOR JUST ABOUT EVERYBODY! EACH WITH IT'S OWN SET OF HILARIOUS DIRECTIONS, FULL COLOR HI-GLOSS LABEL, SIDESPLITTING DIRECTIONS, NUTRITION & WARNING PANELS.

Welcome to our site! Here you'll find all kinds of Cans O'Whoop Ass. Standard styles like our ever popular Original Whoop Ass, Badass Biker's Whoop Ass, USA's Finest Whoop Ass, Truckers Whoop Ass, Rebel Flag Whoop Ass and more.

Our Original Can O'Whoop Ass can be customized with your own State, City or Town, Business Name, Club, Fraternity or Organization, Bar, Lounge, Bowling or Local Sports Team, you name it!

One of our more popular customizations are for law firms who send a Can O'Whoop Ass to their competition or give to selected clients after a case win. Whatever your use, our  customized Cans O'Whoop Ass are a great conversation starter!

While you're here, check out our two newest entrees: Can O'Sweet Beaver Pie for some good eatin' and our Can O' Shut The F**k Up! for a great conversation starter (or finisher.)

Be sure and read our Official Disclaimer below, before ordering any of our products. Note that our products are designed and meant for adult entertainment only. While not 'X' rated, the language used is mostly 'R', but hey... why would anybody want a tamed-down version of Whoop Ass anyway? I mean, it's Whoop Ass! Duh.

'Nuff said.

(Seriously. We will accept a 'G' rated request on some styles but since we don't stock the 'G' version, it will add a little extra time to complete your order. If this is your preference, please let us know and we'll do our best to accomodate your request.)

OK.  By now, you should know this is all meant in good, clean fun. I hopefully shouldn't have to tell anybody this but don't ever really eat what's in the cans. I mean if you try, you're not only an idiot but you missed the joke because it's all about the label. Some folks have opened the can 'cause curiosity got the best of 'em. All they had after that was a stale, nasty open can of useless, inedible crap and that don't do nobody no good. (Don't write me about the bad grammer either.) Anyway, suffice to say this: If you do open the can and eat what's inside, I guarantee you'll wind up with a very real, case of serious whoop ass. You'll be miserable and everybody around you will be miserable too. So don't do it. Don't eat what's inside any of our products. If you do your ass will never forgive you and you can't say you weren't warned.

And don't, I repeat, don't use any of our products as per any directions or statements written on each can. As I said, it's all a joke!! If you do choose to use this stuff for real, it's at your own risk, stupidity, peril and liability.

WHOOP-ASS IS MEANT PURELY FOR ADULT ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.

Absolutely NO other use except as a novelty item is intended, whether expressed or implied. Serious injury, even death may occur from actual use of product according to stated directions. We assume no responsibility for your ultimate lack of discretion in the use or consumption of this novelty product, whether sober or not. By placing your order you acknowledge having first read this disclaimer in its entirety, understand and agree to the novelty nature of this product and accept all legal responsibility to diligently convey this information to any recipient, within reasonable expectation, of this liability disclaimer. Under no circumstances should this product be given or provided access to any minor or person(s) with such limited mental capacity as to consider actual use of this product in any way, other than as a novelty product solely for entertainment purposes only. 

Whew! Now our lawyers can rest at night. Amen.

ALL WHOOP ASS PRODUCTS ARE INTENDED FOR PURELY ADULT ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND SPECIFICALLY NOT INTENDED FOR MINORS. NOT TO BE EATEN OR ACTUALLY USED IN ANY WAY PER STATED OR IMPLIED DIRECTIONS.

READ OUR RETURN POLICY HERE

All above content of this website and product images ©2004-2008 CJEntUSA. Can 'O Whoop Ass tradename, Can 'O Whoop Ass trademark and all respective label designs constitute original intellectual property of CJentUSA. All rights reserved. Labels shown subject to continual improvement.